It seems like I am constantly telling my students that editing and revising your work will lead to better, more complete, and more interesting stories. Well it seems that someone has finally taken that advice to heart. The following story by Eleonora went through several drafts and her hard work has really paid off!
Cindy and Lilly
By Eleonora
Chapter 1
There was a girl named Cindy that lives with her family. Cindy has always kept a secret from her family because they would be shocked! Well Cindy is very friendly to people. Also she has blond hair and is wearing a blue shirt with jeans. Lilly has the same gift as Cindy... to see ghosts! Lilly is sometimes shy and sometimes very friendly. She is wearing a yellow shirt and jeans. They are both in the same class in 5th grade. Then one morning, Cindy and Lilly went to class when they saw a lot of little ghost children. They both saw them at school. Then they screamed so loud that the class stared at them shocked for a long time. After that the teacher yelled, "WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU TWO?" Then Cindy and Lilly went to their seats really fast and said, "We were freaked of how many kids we have in our class." After that, they began to study for their test in math. When school was over they went home to talk to a ghost from school!
To be continued...
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Student Writer of the Week 4-17-12
This week I have an excellent example of a student who writes in detail. I love how Sanjana takes the time to describe whats going on in the story without giving it all away at once. Building suspense is obviously one of Sanjana's skills. This spy story also has thoughtful plot developments that cause the characters to have to make decisions that will effect the course of the story. Her characters feel like real people because of this! I can't wait for chapter 2!
The Robots
By Sanjana
Chapter 1
I am Agent F, Feasus, my partner is Agent C, Carmen, our back up is Agent Q, Quimberly. Yesterday night there was some strange things going on. People were disappearing, even the president! So our agency team is going to find out what is making this happen and who is making this happen. Today Agent C and I saw the person who is making all these people disappear. We hid behind the bushes to see what he was doing.
I called Agent Q right away, “Hello, Agent Q, we spotted the villan. Come quickly. It took some time for Agent Q to come and the villain was starting to leave, with something huge in his hand, I couldn’t make out it was but it had a robot face! Agent C sugested we follow him and we did. We were walking right behind him and he didn't even notice, which was great. He lead us through a forest, then stopped in front of a huge, evil labratory.
He had a voice activiating machine wich would only recomend to his voice to open the door, some way or another we had to sneak in. This time we hid by the wall. When he went inside the doorway, we went right after him.
"Oh my Gosh!" me and Agent Q said at the same time.
"Jinks, triple jinks, you own me a soda," I said.
"Hurry up and focus on our job not on soda" Agent C said.
Back to... (oh my gosh), there were hundreds of people trapped in cages. Small ones, big ones, even humongous ones. I heard a noise behind me and when I looked back Agent C was gone! I didn't know what to do I had to act fast!
Monday, April 9, 2012
Student Writer of the Week: 4-9-12
I hope everyone had a great 3 day weekend! It's back to work though and back to showcasing a great student writer. Clearly my students have a gift for the terrifying. Cassie shares her ghost encounter with us this week. I'm beginning to think that San Antonio is a pretty haunted city. I just hope I don't see one!
![](http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/Casper-Friendly-Ghost-3.jpg)
![](http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/Casper-Friendly-Ghost-3.jpg)
A Time I Saw a Ghost!
By Cassie
One late evening I came out of the restroom and my older brother, Erik came out of the kitchen and we saw my little brother, Sean (look like ghost form) go into his room and close the door. Erik told me, “Sean would never close his door!” Then I said, “Lets go in!” So we went in and the lights were off. I said to Erik, “Sean would never turn off the lights he’s afraid of the dark!” So me and Erik told Sean and my little sister Nicky and they were scared. I told them, “Nicky sleep in my room and Sean sleep in Erik’s room. “So I slept in Nicky’s room and I heard noises. They were coming from the kitchen so I go in and look and I see…
TO BE CONTINUED
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Social Studies Test on April 10th!
Chapter 8: Texas and the Civil War
Key terms, people, and events that will be on the test:
Plantation - Cash crop - Cotton gin State’s rights Slavery - auctions - Jobs of slaves - Runaways - How owners treated slaves Election of 1860 - Abraham Lincoln | Secede Confederacy/ Confederate States of America Secessionists Blockade Fort Sumpter Soldier’s Uniforms Union and Confederate Flags Jefferson Davis Robert E. Lee Ulysses S. Grant Abraham Lincoln’s assassination Surrender at Virginia | Juneteenth Segregation Amendment Carpetbagger Sharecropper Steps to rejoining the Union Freed Slaves |
Monday, April 2, 2012
Student Writing of the Week: 4-2-12
I am always proud of the creativity that is shown by the student writer of the week. This time is no different. However, I could tell that Mikel spent some time going over this piece and making sure that spelling and grammar were correct as well. Thank you Mikel for your positively powerful punctuation!
The Nightmare
What kind of world are we in! Wait let me start at the beginning. It was Saturday and my brother came home from a tiring Saturday detention so I let him lay on the black leather couch. We had fallen asleeep and woke up in a dark world. Then we saw Freddy Krueger and then there was many serial killers like Jason and Billy. There was a green whirlpool so me and my brother jumped in. When we woke up Jeepers Creepers gripped our arms and Jason sharpened his machette. "Is this the end?" my brother asked. "I don't know." I said
To be continued...
The Nightmare
What kind of world are we in! Wait let me start at the beginning. It was Saturday and my brother came home from a tiring Saturday detention so I let him lay on the black leather couch. We had fallen asleeep and woke up in a dark world. Then we saw Freddy Krueger and then there was many serial killers like Jason and Billy. There was a green whirlpool so me and my brother jumped in. When we woke up Jeepers Creepers gripped our arms and Jason sharpened his machette. "Is this the end?" my brother asked. "I don't know." I said
To be continued...
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